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Twenty-six-year-old Amer (his name and some others in this article have been changed) is from an Indiana farming community home to just eight Muslim families.

It wasn’t until college that he was thrown in with other Muslims his age.

For millennial Muslims of South Asian extraction, Shaadi — with its tone-deaf profiles in awkward English and requests for “wheatish or fair complexions only” — is usually invoked as a punch line.Instead of going the traditional route, they are taking the search into their own hands while respecting their parents’ beliefs and wishes.Sonia*, a 25-year-old master’s student, sums it up like this: “I feel that because I have other aspects of my life in place—from work to finishing my master’s to training for a marathon—this aspect is something I should also take steps toward achieving.It’s the rest of my life, so why wouldn’t I want a say in it?” Twenty-one-year-old Rabia* agrees: “I want control over picking who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.” This love connection (or lack thereof) among Muslims is more common than you might think.

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I’m on an actual mission to create a culture shift around what’s considered appropriate.” The story of Bliss Marriage App — a “halal dating app” with the tagline “The right person for you can be a mosque away” — is also instructive.

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